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ryan_murphy

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(no subject) [Nov. 9th, 2009|05:00 pm]
How could I ever take a step towards you
And push my way through those who adore you
If you never even noticed me
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(no subject) [Oct. 20th, 2009|11:05 am]
~ All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything. ~
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Hit me like a ton of bricks [Jul. 29th, 2009|12:15 am]
[Text for 'Current Mood' | uncomfortable]
[Text for 'Current Music' |Atmosphere]

 A whole house full of dreams and steps. I think you'd be impressed with the pieces I kept.
You disappeared but the history is still here. That's why I try not to cry over spilled beer.
I can't even get mad that you're gone. Leavin' me was probably the best thing you ever taught me. 
I'm sorry, It's official. I was a fist-full. I didn't keep it simple. 
Chip on the shoulder. Anger in my veins. Has so much hatred now it brings me shame.
Never thought about the world without you and I promise that I'll never say another bad word about you. 
                                    I thought I saw you yesterday.
But I know it wasn't you because you passed away, Dad.

Looked just like you. Strange things my imagination might do.
Take a breath, reflect on what we've been through. Or am I just goin crazy cuz I miss you? 
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(no subject) [Jul. 18th, 2008|04:14 am]
The whole internet scene has become a race for popularity via picture comments and wall posts. Someone actually insulted me by saying, "You don't even have that many wall posts on your facebook." That REALLY bothered me, thinking that everyone takes their internet interactions a little too srsly. I don't creep on facebook, MY BAD.

I've been using this piece of shit for the past 2 months, and the day I get a new phone I'm going to throw it off a bridge just like I did to that shitty razr they sent me.

I got rear ended, again, maybe I should take that giant electro magnet out of my trunk

I dono if anyone reads this, so I'm just gonna stop using it.. I'm not getting credit for it anymore, whats the point? Maybe just make it private and keep using it for my own sake? Shits kinda laaamee.

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       CAN WE MAKE IT?                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               
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(no subject) [Jun. 29th, 2008|02:24 pm]
[Text for 'Current Music' |Aesop Rock]

Did you really think your maker wouldn't notice?
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(no subject) [Jun. 28th, 2008|03:31 am]
[Current Location |Loneliness]
[Text for 'Current Music' |Jared Van Fleet]

I've read 8 books in 2 weeks, any suggestions?


"Many people have times when he or she is alone through circumstances or choice. Being alone can be experienced as positive, pleasurable, and emotionally refreshing if it is under the individual's control. Solitude is the state of being alone and secluded from other people, and often implies having made a conscious choice to be alone. Loneliness is therefore unwilling solitude. In their growth as individuals, humans start a separation process at birth, which continues with growing independence towards adulthood. As such, feeling alone can be a healthy emotion and, indeed, choosing to be alone for a period of solitude can be enriching. To experience loneliness, however, can be to feel overwhelmed by an unbearable feeling of separateness at a profound level. This can manifest in feelings of abandonment, rejection, depression, insecurity, anxiety, hopelessness, unworthiness, meaninglessness, and resentment. If these feelings are prolonged they may become debilitating and prevent the affected individual from developing healthy relationships and lifestyles. If the individual is convinced he or she is unlovable, this will increase the experience of suffering and the likelihood of avoiding social contact."
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(no subject) [Jun. 25th, 2008|08:25 pm]
[Current Location |Couch]
[Text for 'Current Music' |Godspeed]

We both know the truth, you better than I. And no one knows it but us.
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(no subject) [Jun. 5th, 2008|12:52 am]
"Our choice as a planetary culture is a simple one: go Green or die."
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(no subject) [May. 29th, 2008|11:43 pm]
Locating weakness is one thing, eliminating it is something completely different.
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(no subject) [May. 19th, 2008|09:12 pm]
I came out of a major car accident without a scratch. I guess it really just didn't hit me till now, I must be here for a reason... I just have no clue what it is.  
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(no subject) [May. 15th, 2008|06:36 pm]
Would it be greedy to wish he was going the other way?
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Time for me to go. [May. 14th, 2008|11:12 pm]
[Text for 'Current Mood' | numb]
[Text for 'Current Music' |Led Zeppelin IV]

It's when you realize the night before, "Tomorrow is going to suck." I suggest that the night, the preparation, the anxiety, is far worse than the day its self. Setting the alarm for five fifteen really makes you realize how short the night really is. Trying to sleep, knowing that the my phone will ring in a few short hours makes the sleep seem desperate, worthless. "Why not just stay up all night?" Who cares, who's going to stop me?

Maybe soon I'll find my ticket out of here, say goodbye to the very few people who I have an actual day-to-day relationship with, and leave forever. Once I get out of here, I'm never coming back. Not to say I didn't have an excellent childhood, or upbringing for that matter..

My thoughts are very scattered, I finally realize that I am not ready for college. I need to mature, find some motivation. I have been through many things that can be classified "life changing," but none did their job. I'm nearly afraid of social contact with people I'm not acquainted with. When I feel inferior to someone, I back down quickly, and lately that's been happening a lot. I need to mature, find some motivation, and take pride in what I've got, before all these chances pass me by.

I want to look at what I've got, and be happy. Think about the past and have no regrets. Live my dreams, or waste my life dreaming.

I want to do many things before I get stuck in one spot. Most of all, to laugh in the face of madness, and declare myself master of my own sanity. At least for one more day..
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(no subject) [Apr. 19th, 2008|01:28 am]
I guess my greatest fear is being forgotten.

I just want to let everything go and float
Forever.
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(no subject) [Apr. 17th, 2008|12:03 am]
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(no subject) [Apr. 1st, 2008|08:47 pm]
Have you ever told yourself a lie so many times, you start to believe it yourself?
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(no subject) [Mar. 29th, 2008|01:03 am]
I went to the cemetery today.. Reminds me of everything I've lost.

Including you,
RIP Ella 3/25/2008
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(no subject) [Mar. 26th, 2008|12:03 am]
I need to wake up..

What the fuck is going on lately?

I feel so bad for Lindsey..
It's so unfair when the worst things happen to the best, honest people.
You did NOT deserve this.
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(no subject) [Mar. 24th, 2008|09:23 pm]

I'm not too into RHCP, but I've always loved this song. Doesn't sound like them much, then again that may be why I love it.
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(no subject) [Mar. 22nd, 2008|03:08 pm]
Broken.
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(no subject) [Mar. 20th, 2008|02:21 am]
Overhead the albatross hangs motionless upon the air
And deep beneath the rolling waves
In labyrinths of coral caves
The echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand
And everything is green and submarine

And no-one showed us to the land
And no-one knows the where or whys
But something stirs and something tries
And starts to climb towards the light

Strangers passing in the street
By chance two separate glances meet
And I am you and what I see is me
And do I take you by the hand
And lead you through the land
And help me understand the best I can

And no-one calls us to move on
And no-one forces down our eyes
And no-one speaks and no-one tries
And no-one flies around the sun

Cloudless everyday you fall upon my waking eyes
Inviting and inciting me to rise
And through the window in the wall
Come streaming in on sunlight wings
A million bright ambassadors of morning

And no-one sings me lullabies
And no-one makes me close my eyes
And so I throw the windows wide
And call to you across the sky


fucking amazing  
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